Finding Your Wild Self & Living A Full Life

Manuela & Anya, 2022

The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

(Photo by Sandra Grünewald, Unsplash, 2023)

One of my doors is behind the pain and loneliness I experienced when I was a toddler, in a hospital, for several months, tied down so I would not fidget with my leg (it was in a cast), or stand up (which might have jeopardized the healing of the leg).

I have come to learn that the greatest scars can become our greatest strengths, because they soften us to the human-ness of the people around us.

What do you think?

I am so curious to hear about your doors. Have you found it yet? Do you dare look for it?

__________

Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness & Nature Coach

Connecting over Garbage

At first, we saw some garbage, the usual, a few discarded food containers, a coffee cup lid, carelessly dropped or lost by the inattentive visitor. Nothing that could not easily be picked up and collected in a small garbage bag later (and I generally do, because it hurts my eye more to see the garbage than it is an effort to pick it up and dispose of it in a designated spot).

It was a hot Sunday. We decided to go for a swim at a place along a river, where the water cascading over sheet rock is easy to access and not too deep.

Walking on we came across an abandoned campsite, with bottles and aluminum foil in the fire pit. Right next to it was a good sized box full of discarded packing material and bottles – the leftovers of a party. It seemed that someone had just abandoned the site and walked away that very morning. I looked around, but aside from a lone person walking along the shore in some distance (we had parked right next to his car) we were the only ones around. I pointed out to my husband that I was going to bring the box of garbage back and dispose of it.

I anticipated the wind would scatter it soon, and the rain would soak it. Then it would be much harder to clean it up next time around. My heart was full of resentment, and a fun day felt suddenly spoiled. I was at odds with the world and definitely upset with the person(s) who had left their garbage behind. While I realized that emotion, it was hard to shake it.

Regardless, we did our thing and explored the river. Eventually, the lone walker came towards us and I spoke to him. He told me that he was not from around here, and that he was camping out. Oh, I said, is that box up on the bank yours by any chance? He said that it wasn’t, but that he wanted to come back with a garbage bag and clean it up. I responded that I was going to take the box, and that he could come back with the said garbage bag and clean up the rest. He said, bless you, and that was all it took to put my world back on its hinges.

Connecting with just one like-minded person can change our world.

__________

My intention:

Sustainability- How to live happily while leaving the earth in the same or a better state than before – is what I strive for and educate people about

__________

Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness & Nature Coach

__________

(Photo by Anastasia Nelen, Unsplash, 2023)

Mind the Little Things

Part 1: Leopard Frog

I just came across a very small (what I believe to be a) leopard frog. Why I saw it? – Because it moved. Once it stopped, I had a hard time finding it again. Can you spot it in the picture-insert?

Leopard Frog, June 28, 2023

When I held out my hand the frog jumped on it. It did not stop but kept moving, and I felt fortunate to get one shot with the little amphibian in focus.

I am sharing this experience, because I felt so passionate about this sighting, so amazed at how tiny, how perfect and how fragile this little frog is. That created a sense of responsibility and reverence in me.

What I learned from the encounter: Frogs are amazing. Life is precious. I am grateful.

What was the latest thing that created a sense of awe in you?

__________

Part 2: Johnson Salamander

I almost stepped onto this little guy. At first, I thought somebody had dropped a piece of rubber in the grass.

Then I realized I had a visitor. A mysterious visitor.

Luckily he did not mind waiting there, in his spot in the grass, while I found out that the Jefferson Salamander is considered an endangered species in our area. I sat in a distance from him for a while, then let him be. He was there all evening, but gone the next morning.

Johnson Salamander, June 24, 2023

__________

Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness & Nature Coach

Spirit Plants

When I lived in the Yukon, I was given a handful of Haskap berries. I harvested the tiny seeds and started them. I planted the little plants in a raised bed. They survived winter after winter, and after a three years they produced their first fruit. When I left the Yukon, I took some seeds with me. The whole story repeated itself, and we had our first berries last summer. This summer, we have such an abundant harvest, which made me think that Haskap bushes are definitely my spirit plant:

They are easy going, produce fruit very early in the season and for an extended period, they are abundant, appreciative of what I can give them, they are decorative, and they are not of interest to little harvesters like chipmunks (strawberries don’t stand a chance against those neighbors).

What is your spirit plant? – Look around. What plants are doing well in your care or in your surroundings? Please contact me if you need more questions or a reference-guide.

__________

Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness & Nature Coach

Your Body Has You Covered

When the fog is too thick for you to find your way around, your body knows where to go.

That might be a bit of a metaphorical exaggeration. Please bear with me as I unroll my thoughts:

Unfortunately, our area is currently experiencing dense smog from wildfires in this and other provinces of Canada. While we cannot really smell it (unlike yesterday, when the smell of a cold fire pit hung in the air), my chest felt heavy this morning, I felt reluctant to take a deep breath, and a headache was (and is) lingering. I pointed out to my daughter that there are people who spend their lives in conditions like this, where the air is polluted all the time. And how lucky we can be that this is only a temporary situation.

I also became aware how messages from my body – reluctant to take a deep breath – can be such a great guide, and how important it is consequently, to listen to somatic impressions.

____________________

As your coach with a strong affinity towards stewardship for our natural world I would ask you:

When do you feel your body telling you something you are not consciously aware of (yet)?

There is a very useful little exercise with which you can quickly gain (or regain) access to your somatic wisdom and your inner compass. Drop me a note if you are interested.

(Photo by Greg Rosenke, Unsplash 2023)

When Life Happens

We live on the side of a beautiful creek. In the spring, the water level is fairly high and the current is fairly strong; strong enough so I can swim in it without moving in relation to the shore line. It is perfect: cool, refreshing, clean. The birds are singing, the mosquitoes cannot get to me, and all I see is nature.

I have a tendency to forget this beautiful setting, when the water level drops radically later in the season and the flow comes to a halt, until the creek is full of long algae. That is partially due to the fact that this creek drains from a lake that is dammed up so the people with cottages around it can enjoy the water all summer, when there is less water feeding the lake. I have a tendency to feel resentful about that. Gentrification of formerly pristine rural lands into cottage country for wealthy retirees is not something that I digest easily.

Today, however, when the temperature rose to 30 degrees, I hopped into the creek, and I was swimming against the current with my goggles on, exploring the underwater world (I tickled a mussel with my toe and it clammed up, I listened to some shore birds chirping, and I enjoyed the gentle flow of water against my front, when I stopped swimming and put my feet down), I realized how much I miss out on, when I am not living in the moment. So I did.

How have you lived in the moment today?

__________

CCO – Cool Coaching Offers

By the way, I am offering a few really cool things in my coaching services: A 6-week program to help people gain clarity about their life purpose (direct link coming soon!), and an 8-week program that builds serious mental muscles. Both have helped me and brave souls around me who jumped into the adventure with me. Feel free to schedule a nonbinding discovery call to talk about your journey.

Fit Body & Fit Mind

I have good news and a reality check. Let me tell you a story, and you can see if you can find the good news! If you are lucky, your body was naturally fit in your younger years. For example, you could eat whatever you wanted without gaining any weight, for example, and you were naturally fit, even if you did not work out a lot.

If you are anything like me, now that you are older, you are putting on weight much more easily, and to stay physically in shape takes time and dedication. Again, if you are lucky, you love healthy food, which can give you an advantage with regards to healthy eating habits. Me, I love crunchy vegetables and any kind of fruit. So now that we are older, we come to realize how important healthy nutrition and exercise are in maintaining a healthy body.

The same principles – although less visible – apply to our mental health and fitness. The mental challenges of more mature humans are versatile, but there might be a midlife crisis, overwhelm with the responsibilities of life, and possibly some first signs of an aging body. To put up with those challenges and maintain a healthy disposition, one needs to exercise the mind just like the body.

It is quite possible to remain mentally fit, just like it is to remain physically fit. Consistency is the key. If you want to know more about that, please contact me or read up on my mental fitness program.

__________

Note from my canine sidekick: “I help a lot with Manuela’s mental and my physical fitness! I make her run a lot, and she says I always bring a smile to her face. Can you guess why?”

Photo: Danica’s cool ear fluff, 13.1.2023

__________

Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness & Nature Coach

Pictures Touch

I use pictures in coaching to evoke reflection, inspiration, and associations.

Something in a picture might evoke an association, a thought or a feeling that wants to be talked about.

For example: In a coaching session, a client might say that they feel stuck. I might show them the following card, and they in turn can share what they see, and what the card makes them think about, thus getting the person “un-stuck”.

Question: What does that card make YOU think about? Please comment or send me a message.

Source: Dixit Board Game

__________

If you are curious about more thought-provoking questions and inspirations, I am looking forward to meeting you in a Free Discovery Meeting:

Book your

The 3-To-1 Positivity Ratio

Research shows that our brains are hard-wired to over-emphasize the negative experiences we have. Due to an evolutionary survival mechanism called the “negativity bias”, the human brain holds on to and amplifies the negative much more than the positive. It was more essential for our distant ancestors to remember the experience with the dangerous bear, than the beautiful field of flowers.

According to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson (University of North Carolina, 2009), we need three positive experiences for every negative emotional experience in order to keep a positive mindset. According to her, we can actively build a collaborative relationship between our survival minds and our thrive minds. This 3-to-1 ratio should be maintained both in thoughts and feelings, as well as in interactions with people that matter to us.

1
2
3
1

What are a few ways to build that collaborative relationship between those two parts of our minds?

It starts with awareness: Pay attention to when you are having negative thoughts and feelings, including stress, anxiety, anger, disappointment, blame, guilt, shame, self-doubt, regret, etc. These thoughts might happen in response to yourself, to others or to events and circumstances. When you notice them, counter by commanding your mind to come up with at least 3 positives:

See the adventure around the challenge: Can you learn something new? Can you explore something exciting? Can you grow a new skill?

Look for opportunity: What is a positive aspect of a negative event? What could be a positive consequence of the negative circumstance?

-Zoom out and broaden your view: What does the big picture look like? What do you see now that you have not seen before?

Take small risks that take you out of your comfort zone.

Practice self-compassion: See the beautiful essence in you! Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.

These thoughts could be quick and simple, and they will start to shift your brain activity to the positive side.

If you are curious about this and many more Mental Fitness exercises, I would love to meet you in a non-binding chat.

Book your

Here is a Link to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s Positivity Self-Test

Edison and the Light Bulb

Failure is a natural part of the creative process!

Thomas Edison, the American inventor, is thought of as being one of the most creative and intelligent men in history – and yet, the history books tell us that he attended his school in Michigan for only three months before being expelled at the age of 12 because his teachers thought he was ‘educationally subnormal’. In later years, Edison was to become famous for his saying ‘genius is 1 per cent inspiration and 99 per cent perspiration’.

This was certainly true for him in his attempts to convert electricity into light, one of his most famous endeavours. He was reputed to have tried and failed over 1,000 times to perfect the incandescent electric light bulb, and when advised by his colleagues and friends to give up the whole project because it was doomed to failure, replied with total conviction and some surprise: ‘Why, I haven’t failed; I’ve just found a thousand ways in which my formula doesn’t work!’

It was as much Edison’s positive and tenacious attitude to endeavour and problem solving as his obvious intelligence and creativity that, in the end, were his most powerful allies.

(Source: Tales for Coaching, p.109)

__________

Moral: There is no failure – only feedback!

Questions:

  • What represents the ‘light bulb’ that you are currently trying to invent?
  • What projects have you given up because you thought you had failed? Could they be rekindled?

__________

Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness Coach

The Star Thrower

Do you see your mission and your goals clearly? And how do you feel about small steps – do you give yourself credit for them, do you celebrate your small accomplishments?

__________

Story: A man was walking along the beach when he noticed a young boy apparently picking something off the ground and throwing it out into the sea. As the man got closer to the boy he saw that the objects were starfish. And the boy was surrounded by them. For miles and miles all along the shore, there seemed to be millions of them.

„Why in the world are you throwing starfish into the water”, he asked the boy as he approached.

„If these starfish are on the beach tomorrow morning when the tide goes out they will die”, replied the boy, continuing with his work.

„But that’s ridiculous”, cried the man. „Look around you. There are thousands of miles of beach and millions of starfish. How can you believe that what you’re doing could possibly make a difference”? The young boy picked up another starfish, paused thoughtfully, and remarked as he tossed it out into the waves, „It makes a difference to this one”. (by Loren Eisley)

__________

Moral: What is never attempted will never be accomplished; even the smallest of efforts defeats apathy.

Question: Who or what are the ‘starfish’ that you want to save?

Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness Coach

Freedom in Between

So often, people feel that they are not in charge of their own lives, that their lives are determined by circumstance, duties and habits.

Victor Frankl is said to have shared a thought-provoking perspective:

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Viktor E. Frankl

What are your thoughts on that? Please drop me a note.

________________

New and super relevant: I have expanded into Mental Fitness coaching to support lasting change in my clients’ lives.

#mentalfitness #personalfreedom #mindfulness #coachmanuelazeitlhofer

Multiple Perspectives

Essentially, things just are. We attribute meaning to things and events. Sometimes we dwell in the negative aspects or implications of something, when there really are other sides to everything.

In coaching we use this principle, and we call it reframing: We encourage a different perspective or seeing something in a different light.

Today, I did this with my sandpit: Part of our property consists of a former sandpit that was left in its soil-deprived state. For the past 25 years, nothing more than a few tough grasses, willows and even fewer very tough pines and cedars (all looking like bonsais) have been growing here. In the summer, this bothers my agriculturalist’s heart. Now, with a little bit of snow, the steep banks make marvelous sliding hills. And I wonder what other things in my life need reframing.

How about you? What could you reframe right now? – Please share your thoughts!

How to Live in a Seemingly Small World

I find that with the restrictions imposed on us during COVID, my world is shrinking to the size it was when my daughter was born. Back then, we were living in the wilderness, and I was the only person taking care of the baby. I could not leave the house or have any time to myself for a seemingly long time.

I learned how to carve out a space in my life that would hold who I was, so I would not loose myself. And it worked. For example, instead of going for long walks or do the outdoor chores (like getting water from the creek), started Yoga, which I could do inside with the baby around. I also reframed – that is, give different meaning – to seemingly tedious chores like doing the dished or doing laundry (I washed my daughter’s cloth diapers by hand): The repetitive action of those chores made it possible for me to reflect on life and get into a creative mental space that was relaxing.

I have always enjoyed working from home, and seeing nature change through the seasons right in front of my window. Being homebound during another lockdown is no problem for me. At times though, I miss that I cannot go and see my family when I want, or take my daughter to an indoor pool on a cold winter day. Instead, I find myself in the little and bigger chores that every day life as a mother, wife, duck owner, life coach and teacher brings, like collecting two beautiful duck eggs every morning, engaging in some small talk with the producers and negotiating the details of food – especially peas – exchange with them.

I hope you are in a position where you enjoy life, and you can be who you are without feeling restricted. If that is not the case let me tell you that you have it in you to create those conditions!

Please feel free to share your ideas or questions.

Love the duck (October 22, 2021)

Everything Has Two Sides

I repainted my mailbox. It looks like new, but the flag is not installed properly yet (long story). When I inspected it today, contemplating how to solve the issue, I noticed beautiful ice crystals on the north-facing side of the mailbox. The south-facing side was steaming in the sunlight.

I was thinking how everything has two sides: literally and metaphorically speaking.

If we accept that our perspective can only be subjective, and that every situation has different aspects to it, then we have to accept that we might not always sit on the sunny side of a reality. And if that is the case, we could infer that there IS indeed a sunn(ier) side to things.

How does that strike you?

By the way, as a life coach I can assist you in finding those other perspectives. And I accept new clients!

Freedom Choices

I keep thinking about my fellow Austrians. My country of birth seems divided and propaganda is driving the wedge even deeper.

Thinking about our collective history, I am concerned where this might lead (again). What comes after the division? Segregation? Finding a scapegoat? Then what?

I keep thinking about this dilemma. And I want to understand. So please come along and let’s ask some questions.

The situation as it presents itself to me in the stories I hear and read from people I know:

The government is taking away some of our freedoms, and we feel restricted. Some of us fight by being obstinate or by complaining. Others, in a more inward-directed way, are being unhappy. A few might be involved in constructive political activism; others trust that our countries’ leaders are doing the best they can.

Right now, we find ourselves deprived of some of the freedoms we have gotten used to, like the freedom to travel, the freedom to meet friends, the freedom to go window shopping, or the freedom to have a nice meal in a restaurant.

I am putting the following thought out there:

Our freedom is never absolute. There are always some limitations to our actual choices.

Freedom then becomes a choice. We can choose to be happy, quite independently of the circumstance. We can be happy that we are alive, content to be able to go for walks, loving the sun, the wind and the stars. We can choose our emotional response when we hear people spreading negativity, we can even choose to turn off the TV or turn away from those people.

We can choose which feelings we act upon: Love or hatred, contentment or restlessness….

I am challenging you to try this:

Do the best you can, always, from a place of love and consideration. The let it go and be happy, this very moment.

Drop me a note with your thoughts. Thank you!

My Freedom in a Tree (August 8, 2021)

The World of Little Things: Seeds

Again, I was walking home from the school bus, when my gaze fell upon a little milkweed seed on the ground. It was glistering with dew drops. While the general scene, albeit sunny and not too cold, was rather brown – mind you, it is November and nature supposed to be brown – that little seed was a sparkling messenger of life and hope.

Have you ever thought of all the beauty we might miss, by focusing on the big picture only?

Happiness is Here, Now

Happiness is a Value, not a Goal!

That means, happiness is not something to look for, to try to reach, a goal, but a value, something to believe in, a moment-to-moment way of being!

Does this sound familiar? – “I will be happy when _______” (fill the blank).

What did you wish for as a child? – Your next birthday gift? As a teenager? – Your driver’s licence? As a young adult? – A good job? / A wonderful partner? – And once you got what you were wishing for, how long did your happiness last before you filled in the blank with something new, a new condition for your happiness? What are you longing for or chasing today? – Do you think this ____ (fill the blank) will make you sustainably happy? It is an endless cycle in the pursuit of happiness.

How can we break the cycle? Can we be happy here and now? Independent of circumstance?

Here are a few mental exercises that can help you create new thinking habits that make it possible to be happy, independent of pursuit:

Talk to and about yourself in compassionate ways

Instead of being hard on yourself for all your flaws, your failures and mistakes, assure yourself:

_______ (Your name), you are perfectly human, with all your imperfections, just like everyone else. Let’s acknowledge what is wonderful about you, like _______ (fill the blank), and have fun improving you a little bit every day.”

Talk to and about others in constructive ways

Instead of dwelling on a situation that feels hard or impossible to change, assure yourself:

Like you, dear ________ (your name), everybody around you is perfectly imperfect. Their essence is a beautiful as yours. To draw out their best, concentrate on interacting with that part of them!”

Talk about your circumstances in solution-oriented ways

Instead of focussing on mishaps failures, assure yourself:

Every event or circumstance can be a gift. It can be turned into an opportunity. What is a mistake or failure you could look at and see potential in?