Essentially, things just are. We attribute meaning to things and events. Sometimes we dwell in the negative aspects or implications of something, when there really are other sides to everything.
In coaching we use this principle, and we call it reframing: We encourage a different perspective or seeing something in a different light.
Today, I did this with my sandpit: Part of our property consists of a former sandpit that was left in its soil-deprived state. For the past 25 years, nothing more than a few tough grasses, willows and even fewer very tough pines and cedars (all looking like bonsais) have been growing here. In the summer, this bothers my agriculturalist’s heart. Now, with a little bit of snow, the steep banks make marvelous sliding hills. And I wonder what other things in my life need reframing.
How about you? What could you reframe right now? – Please share your thoughts!
I repainted my mailbox. It looks like new, but the flag is not installed properly yet (long story). When I inspected it today, contemplating how to solve the issue, I noticed beautiful ice crystals on the north-facing side of the mailbox. The south-facing side was steaming in the sunlight.
I was thinking how everything has two sides: literally and metaphorically speaking.
If we accept that our perspective can only be subjective, and that every situation has different aspects to it, then we have to accept that we might not always sit on the sunny side of a reality. And if that is the case, we could infer that there IS indeed a sunn(ier) side to things.
How does that strike you?
By the way, as a life coach I can assist you in finding those other perspectives. And I accept new clients!
I keep thinking about my fellow Austrians. My country of birth seems divided and propaganda is driving the wedge even deeper.
Thinking about our collective history, I am concerned where this might lead (again). What comes after the division? Segregation? Finding a scapegoat? Then what?
I keep thinking about this dilemma. And I want to understand. So please come along and let’s ask some questions.
The situation as it presents itself to me in the stories I hear and read from people I know:
The government is taking away some of our freedoms, and we feel restricted. Some of us fight by being obstinate or by complaining. Others, in a more inward-directed way, are being unhappy. A few might be involved in constructive political activism; others trust that our countries’ leaders are doing the best they can.
Right now, we find ourselves deprived of some of the freedoms we have gotten used to, like the freedom to travel, the freedom to meet friends, the freedom to go window shopping, or the freedom to have a nice meal in a restaurant.
I am putting the following thought out there:
Our freedom is never absolute. There are always some limitations to our actual choices.
Freedom then becomes a choice. We can choose to be happy, quite independently of the circumstance. We can be happy that we are alive, content to be able to go for walks, loving the sun, the wind and the stars. We can choose our emotional response when we hear people spreading negativity, we can even choose to turn off the TV or turn away from those people.
We can choose which feelings we act upon: Love or hatred, contentment or restlessness….
I am challenging you to try this:
Do the best you can, always, from a place of love and consideration. The let it go and be happy, this very moment.
For a seemingly long time, the work was becoming smaller as global travel became easier and more and more affordable. Then, a pandemic hit, and the world seemed to expand. Sometimes, the other side of the earth seems to be as far away as another planet. Then again, we are interacting and working with people from all over the world, often in a virtual setting.
In my work as a teacher and a life coach I have come to learn about the cultural challenges a global setting can provide for individuals. In a synthesis of my training as a sociologist, my experience as a teacher, and the many wonderful things I learned from people I have worked with, I have created a program.
The series is called “Developing a Global Cultural Mindset”. Part 1 is all about VALUES: Values answer the question:
“In a world where you could choose to have your life be about something, what would you choose?” (Wilson & Murrell, 2004, 135)
Why is it important to be aware of our values? – Values are our inner compass. Being aware of our values helps us navigate our life in the direction that we choose.
For a short time, the first self-exploratory exercise “Reflection on Values” is available for free.
Sometimes I wonder about the scope of our awareness. My ego does not agree, but my intuition tells me that there is more than I can perceive. Nature taught me a valuable lesson about that:
I have been baffled many times by the perseverance of ants, walking back and forth on their established routes, carrying up to twenty (!) times their body weight. I kept thinking about their world view: What do they see? What do they perceive the world to be? And where does the world as they know it end? While I am aware that the average ant might not be thinking those thoughts, I inferred that their world view is probably more limited than ours. Yet, they might confidently state: “This is how the world is!”
We do the same. We postulate that there is an objective reality and that we know what it is (or strive to find it). I postulate that – even if an objective reality exists – we might not be able to perceive it. So what are we left to do?
Life has been a bit challenging recently, due to ____ (please feel in the blank).
Today is a sunny late summer day. As I took a break from work and went outside to sit in the grass for a few minutes, my gaze fell upon a little snapping turtle, no bigger than two inches. He (?) was sitting 1 foot away from me, staring me “down”. I had to smile, and I thanked that little creature for making me smile.
Then I realized that the world had not changed, but my attitude had shifted: from my problems to the possibilities life holds.
My name is Manuela. I am a Professional Life Coach.
Contact me when you are ready to shift your focus from the backwards look at your problem to the forward look towards your possibilities! It’s magical!
