Judgement is Disconnecting

Conflict Management, Mental Fitness, Mindfulness, Personal Development, , , , , ,

Judging others, circumstances, or oneself is stripping an event of its embeddedness into the system it occurred in.

– Manuela Zeitlhofer (2022)

(photo by Eskay Lim, Unsplash, 2022)

Have you ever noticed yourself judging others, circumstances and yourself (!) with a very sharp and self-righteous mind? And has it ever happened, that – in comparable situations – you found yourself full of compassion, or curiosity over the mistakes and wrongdoings of others and yourself?

If you can relate to both, you might sense that…

…judgement comes from within, because ever external circumstance can lead you to either be judgemental or compassionate. (Some contributing factors might be the self-care you treat yourself with, and how full your reservoir of self-love is.)

…there are factors inside of you that sabotage you, your goals, your goodness (called “Saboteurs” or “Inner Critics”), as well as factors that bring out the best in you (called “Sage”).

…every problem, every circumstance, everything you might get agitated or upset about can lead to an opportunity, a gift even.

This topic lends itself so beautifully to coaching! If you are curious, please comment, or send me a note.

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Manuela Zeitlhofer | Authenticity & Mental Fitness Coach

Common Ground: Connecting by Taking a Step Back

1 CommentConflict Management, Getting to know your Coach,

We live behind an industrial woodlot. This time of the year, the guys (male-dominated workplace) are cutting and shredding wood. We see them twice a day on the way to and from the school bus, and we wave at them. They wave back. That is usually the extent of our interactions. Friendly neighbors.

When my daughter’s friend came over, I asked the girls to stay well away from any big equipment. I also mentioned that we wave at the guys to say hi. My daughter’s friend’s mother (I am calling her Clara) said that no, they don’t to that, because you never know the intentions of strangers.

That comment stirred up a set of emotions in me.

Then I took a step back from the situation. I could sense the motivation behind Clara’s comment: concern for her daughter’s well-being. And there was our common ground, because of course I could relate to that.

What do you think about abstracting from the problem at hand to the theme behind it, and dealing with it at that level? Have you been in a similar situation? Did this method help you in any way?

Please feel free to leave a comment!