You might have noticed that you are affected by the emotions of people around you. If someone expresses worry, frustration or anger, it will be picked up by you and others around. The same principle applies to positive emotions.

Social Psychologist Elaine Hatfield calls this phenomenon emotional contagion. If you read about it you will find out that humans need the pack and from an evolutionary perspective, it has been safer to play along with the group rather than being left alone in the wild.

I want to focus on an empowering aspect: Every person can be that catalyst! If other people’s emotions affect ME, then my emotions affect OTHERS. Isn’t that wonderful?

Here is a current example from my life: This morning, I was walking to the school bus with my daughter. The snow has been melting and we had to walk through some muddy puddles. Our neighbor was working with heavy equipment. He stopped to let us pass safely. I pulled my daughter along. In the process, she got splashed with muddy water. That resulted in a series of aggressive (disappointed) screams. I calmly reminded her that it would just be dust that she could brush off as soon as her pants were dry again. Luckily she recalibrated herself quickly.

Sometimes it takes a lot of energy to avoid getting affected by other people’s emotions. And sometimes, I have to step away when my defenses wear thin.

What generally works for me is…

• to become aware of the emotion (in this case: anger and disappointments) and the reason behind it (feeling of powerlessness, as she could not just change, but had to go to school as she was).
• to be aware of my position and not let the situations break into my bubble of self (I do that by smiling inwardly and talking to myself – also inwardly).
• to separate physically from the person displaying the unwanted emotion. Going outside – even for a few minutes – works wonderings for me.

Tell me please: What works for you?