Touching the Elephant in one Spot

I just heard someone exclaim in frustration that “things are getting worse and worse”. What if things are not getting different, what if things just ARE without evaluation, always interpreted in one way?

Have you ever noticed that when the stakes are high, parties to the dispute tend to focus on one thought, support that with arguments and make it look like the opponent it entirely wrong (if not ridiculously, outrageously, insanely misguided)? Interestingly, no matter which side you listen to, their arguments and facts are compelling, well thought through and seemingly indisputable.

As I have been following two contradicting perspectives on a current high stakes discussion, a thought occurred to me: What if it is not about one perspective being wrong, what if each perspective is flawed, as it is subjective?

Are you still with me? Let me explain my thought by using a metaphor.

In his poem “The Blind Man and the Elephant” by John Godfrey Saxe six blind people are touching different parts of the elephant mistakenly finding the elephant to be like a wall, a rope, a tree, a spear, a snake and a fan. Everyone is partly right, but at the same time fails to recognize the whole truth.

What then?

What if we settle on the fact that none of us can see the whole big picture?

What if we seek consensus and understanding on the level of intentions (giving one another credit for the intention, seeking to understand and find a consensus that way). While speaking of consensus, considering that there is such a thing as win-win. Because in this black-and-white thinking, one often fails to see that by looking at something different, by letting go of wanting to be right, there CAN be win-win outcomes.

Like in Life Coaching. But that is a different story altogether. You can read up on that at creeksideinspirations.ca

Photo Credits and Poem Recital: https://www.poetry.com/poem/101535/the-blind-men-and-the-elephant

Working Mothers in Career Positions: How to Navigate Challenges

Mothers who pursue a career aside from their family are facing a series of unique challenges¹. As it goes, people often feel so stuck in their challenges that they don’t seek help. Oddly, they think the challenge is unique to their life, and nobody would understand or be able to help.

The general vibe in our societies, the expectations we associate with both roles (the working female & the mother) can be so dissociated, that any particular female might experience the consequences of the following statement:

We expect women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work.²

What do you think? Seriously, what feelings come up for you? Please share in a comment or send me a message. I’d love to read what associations come up for you! And even more, I would love to discuss how I can be of assistance in your unique transformative journey!

Here you can subscribe to my inspirational and thought provoking posts.

How to get your VISIONS & MOTIVATORS ALIGNED

Sometimes I discover wondrous things about the motivation that lies behind the wanting of things, by inquiring about what it would mean to the person to have what they desire. And sometimes, it becomes refreshingly clear that a person already has all they strive for.

The Story of the Mexcian Fisherman* (A Parable)

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large fresh fish.  The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos.  I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire.  Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

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• How does this story resonate with you?
• In what way do you already have what you desire?
• In what way(s) could you use your resources more effectively to gain what you desire?
• And: The only time you can make changes is in the present.

I am here to work with you on any and all of those questions. Secure your

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*“The Story of the Mexican Fisherman” has been retold many times. I has been adapted from Heinrich Böll’s short story “Anekdote zur Senkung der Arbeitsmoral”, 1969
[Engl: Anecdote about declining work morale]

__________________

Manuela Zeitlhofer, Transformation Coach

“The only time you can make changes is in the present” (Manuela Zeitlhofer, 2024)

The Aspiring Writer (A Coaching Story)

I know this woman, who is wonderfully talented in many ways: Always striving to learn, to better herself, to live up to her values of freedom, peace, and equality. She deeply believed in sustainability, in flourishing both inside and out without destroying our resources.

She had been writing a book. For a long time, she had been planning, conceptualizing, writing and not writing, contemplating and motivating (herself), without making much progress. She consistently moved all kinds of other areas of her life forward: she learned, she worked, she raised her child, but her book had not been thriving.

One day, she spoke about this with her coach. She realized that she had a conflict within herself: She believed that we (as humans) do not have to destroy the world we live in, and we do not have to grab more and more (of everything) to be happy. She also believed that by staying small and content, she did her part in protecting the world.

That day, with her coach asking her the right questions, she realized that she could be true to both of those strong values: sustainability AND growing herself. She also understood that by holding herself back, she would deprive the world of the gifts she had to share. She also deprived herself of the pleasure of being true to herself, of shining her light into the world, and of seeing what would come after this adventure, of seeing what lay behind this next, long incubated, long procrastinated over achievement.

She walked away from the coaching session that day, and started writing. She finished her book. And she discovered what adventure awaited her next.

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What calling are you not (quite) following yet? – Call me today, and let’s see what your next step in your wonderful adventure is! (And what lies beyond that!)

Why waste time procrastinating when I offer exactly what you need?

Kontaktieren Sie mich, or secure your …

Manuela Zeitlhofer, Transformative Coach (October 16, 2024)

Unplug 2 Reconnect (INTRODUCTION)

• Do you experience stress that has a negative impact you can feel it in your body?
• Do you feel like you are on a hamster wheel without the opportunity to follow your heart and do – or even think – what you long for?
• Have you had experiences in nature that have deeply moved you and that you still remember?

This coaching series is all about unplugging from stress & living your vision: focusing on the future you long for, and sustainably tapping into positive feelings by focusing your attention on emotionally relevant events in the past, present and future. And that works!

You have probably heard quotes like “We are what we think.” You may have already told yourself, “I can’t do that” (and consequently, you have proven to yourself that you can’t). Have you ever had situations in which you said to yourself, “I’ll do this now” or “I can do it today” – and to our own surprise, the process seemed effortless? Yes?

All of these examples are self-fulfilling prophecies:
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” ― Henry Ford

(Photo by Jeremy Bishop, Unsplash 2024)

This series includes four offers that you can take advantage of individually or one after the other:

1. Spazieren zu Positiven Veränderungen: Hikes or walks in a natural environment of your choice. Coaching prepares you for this and guides you in synthesizing your experiences.
2. Bring Nature Home Exercise: Very simple – you bring nature into your home in the form of a plant. You then look after and watch it. That’s how you build a relationship with your friend. You know, plants love CO2, which we breathe out. So we can do the plant and ourselves a favor (because the CO2 is converted into oxygen) by spending time with plants and maybe even talking to them. – There are of course coaching questions and discussions accompanying this exercise.
3. Positive Vision Day: You spend a whole day in nature with your coach. The vision begins long before this actual day, with power questions, self-reflections and a values test.
4. Naturverbundenes Leben Aufspüren: Every week, you explore another area of your inner nature, until it all comes together and leaves you refreshed, with a new sense of purpose and direction.

You can find more information about these offers in the links or by writing to me. I am looking forward to embarking on this adventure with you!

Busting Stress

What goes around comes around

The expression What goes around comes around is backed up by neurological research. Because of neurons in our brain, if we are in sage mode, like joy, curiosity or peace, the person interacting with us will gradually shift to the same mode, which then will fuel our own sage, creating a virtuous cycle. If you look into a happy face and genuinely connect with that person, you will feel happier.

How can you easily and authentically make people – and yourself – happy?

It can be small things: Really connect with people from your heart, for just 10 seconds. Bring a smile to the people in everyday encounters. Tell someone you know a thing you recently appreciated, but have not mentioned yet. Tell a co-worker a strength in them that you admire.

That brings appreciation, gratitude, caring and joy to the world around you. See how that affects you!

(based on Shirzad Chamine’s Mental Fitness Exercise “Make Someone Happy”, Positive Intelligence, November 29, 2022)

Two Caterpillars

Two caterpillars were sitting on a cabbage leaf having a chat. Suddenly, they heard a loud swishing noise, and looking up, saw a beautiful butterfly flying overhead. The first caterpillar looked to the other, shook his head and said, ‘You’ll never get me up in one of those things.’

(by Scott Simmerman)

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Frage: What represents the butterfly (or change) for you?

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Manuela Zeitlhofer | Authentizitäts- & Mentale Fitness Coach

Judgement or compassion

“Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.”
– Wayne Dyer

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“What you see is evidence of what you believe.”
– Wayne Dyer

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Ask yourself:

-Is your opinion the truth (or is it a hypothesis)?

-Does what the other person is doing really matter to anyone but them? Does your opinion really matter to anyone but you?

-Do you have compassion?

__________

Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness Coach

Neuroplastizität bestätigt: Wir können das Leben kreieren, das wir wollen!

Kennen Sie den Begriff Neuroplastizität? – Es bezieht sich auf die Fähigkeit des Gehirns, sich anzupassen, neue Nervenbahnen zu bilden und die Verdrahtung von Gehirnschaltkreisen zu verändern. Bildlich gesprochen bedeutet dies, dass bestimmte Wege zu Autobahnen und andere nur zu Schotterwegen werden. Das bedeutet auch, dass wir die Schotterwege zu Autobahnen ausbauen können. Praktisch bedeutet das, dass wir unser Gehirn trainieren können. Es bedeutet, dass wir unser Denken ändern können. Es bedeutet, dass wir unsere Gewohnheiten ändern können: wie wir denken, sprechen und handeln.

Als Life Coach möchte ich auf die großartigen Möglichkeiten hinweisen, die dieser Ansatz für die Welt des Coachings birgt: Wir können unser Gehirn trainieren. Ein guter Life Coach kann helfen, neue Gewohnheiten zu etablieren.

Ich akzeptiere neue Kunden. Kontaktieren Sie mich heute für ein kostenloses Erstgespräch.

Emotionale Ansteckung

Sie haben vielleicht bemerkt, dass Sie von den Emotionen der Menschen um Sie herum beeinflusst werden. Wenn jemand Sorgen, Frustration oder Wut ausdrückt, wird dies von Ihnen und anderen mitgefühlt. Das gleiche Prinzip gilt für positive Emotionen.

Sozialpsychologin Elaine Hatfield nennt dieses Phänomen emotionale Ansteckung. Wenn Sie darüber lesen, werden Sie feststellen, dass wir Menschen das Rudel brauchen. Aus evolutionärer Sicht war es sicherer, mit der Gruppe mitzulaufen, als allein in freier Wildbahn zurückgelassen zu werden.

Was ich sehr erbaulich finde ist, dass jeder Mensch dieser Katalysator sein kann! Wenn die Emotionen anderer Menschen MICH betreffen, dann beeinflussen meine Emotionen ANDERE. Ist das nicht wunderbar?

Hier ein aktuelles Beispiel aus meinem Leben: Heute morgen ging ich mit meiner Tochter zum Schulbus. Der Schnee ist geschmolzen und wir mussten durch einige schlammige Pfützen laufen. Unser Nachbar arbeitete mit schwerem Gerät. Er hielt an, um uns sicher vorbeigehen zu lassen. Ich nahm meine Tochter an der Hand und zog sie mit mir. Dabei wurde sie mit schlammigem Wasser bespritzt. Das führte zu einer Reihe erboster (und enttäuschter) Schreie. Ich erinnerte sie ruhig daran, dass es bald nur mehr Staub wäre, den sie abbürsten könnte, sobald ihre Hose wieder trocken sei. Zum Glück war sie schnell wieder abgelenkt.

Manchmal braucht es viel Energie, um nicht von den Emotionen anderer Menschen beeinflusst zu werden. Und manchmal muss ich bewusst einen Schritt zurücktreten, wenn meine Abwehrkräfte nachlassen.

Was für mich generell funktioniert, ist…

• sich der Emotion (hier: Wut und Enttäuschung) und dem Grund dahinter (Ohnmachtsgefühl, da meine Tochter sich nicht einfach umziehen konnte, sondern so wie sie war zur Schule gehen musste) bewusst zu werden.
• mir meiner Position bewusst zu sein und die Situationen nicht meine Schutzhülle durchbrechen zu lassen (das tue ich, indem ich innerlich lächle und mit mir selbst rede – meist auch nur innerlich).
• sich körperlich von der Person zu separieren, die die unerwünschte Emotion zeigt. Nach draußen zu gehen – auch nur für ein paar Minuten – wirkt bei mir Wunder.

Sagen Sie mir bitte: Was funktioniert für Sie?

YouTube-Kanal

Here is a video in which I catch up with people who have met me in the past:

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