The expression What goes around comes around is backed up by neurological research. Because of neurons in our brain, if we are in sage mode, like joy, curiosity or peace, the person interacting with us will gradually shift to the same mode, which then will fuel our own sage, creating a virtuous cycle. If you look into a happy face and genuinely connect with that person, you will feel happier.
How can you easily and authentically make people – and yourself – happy?
It can be small things: Really connect with people from your heart, for just 10 seconds. Bring a smile to the people in everyday encounters. Tell someone you know a thing you recently appreciated, but have not mentioned yet. Tell a co-worker a strength in them that you admire.
That brings appreciation, gratitude, caring and joy to the world around you. See how that affects you!
(based on Shirzad Chamine’s Mental Fitness Exercise “Make Someone Happy”, Positive Intelligence, November 29, 2022)
I work with people with a strong environmental conscience, who want to live a sustainable and responsible life without sacrificing what they love doing and thereby creating and strengthening their authentic self.
My target group feels stuck between the responsibilities of (mid-)life, while yearning for more self-determination and connectedness to the natural world and the freedom of their younger years. There might be stress, anxiety, burn-out, and other internal or external conflicts that seem daunting.
Through mental fitness training and coaching in, around and with the help of nature, I assist them in carving out time and energy to step into their full potential and experience their autonomy and authenticity. I do that by assisting them in reframing the problems into opportunities for growth.
I have a long history of living in very close proximity with nature. My background as a sociologist, a teacher, and a homesteader (always making the most of the limited means at hand), as well as my very analytical and empathic nature make me the ideal coach for my target client.
What sets me apart from others in the field: I am authentic in the way I live in and around nature embedded into our modern world. I am empathic, intuitive, and honest. I use metaphors and stories. I incorporate a systemic view in my approach, and I advocate for (and coach toward) mental fitness. And very importantly, I respect the power of the human mind.
Judging others, circumstances, or oneself is stripping an event of its embeddedness into the system it occurred in.
– Manuela Zeitlhofer (2022)
Have you ever noticed yourself judging others, circumstances and yourself (!) with a very sharp and self-righteous mind? And has it ever happened, that – in comparable situations – you found yourself full of compassion, or curiosity over the mistakes and wrongdoings of others and yourself?
If you can relate to both, you might sense that…
…judgement comes from within, because ever external circumstance can lead you to either be judgemental or compassionate. (Some contributing factors might be the self-care you treat yourself with, and how full your reservoir of self-love is.)
…there are factors inside of you that sabotage you, your goals, your goodness (called “Saboteurs” or “Inner Critics”), as well as factors that bring out the best in you (called “Sage”).
…every problem, every circumstance, everything you might get agitated or upset about can lead to an opportunity, a gift even.
This topic lends itself so beautifully to coaching! If you are curious, please comment, or send me a note.
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On!’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
― Calvin Coolidge
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Many times our inner critics keep us from achieving our fullest potential. Imagine what you could do if you were not concerned about failure, but if you saw every failure as a teachable moment that can only advance you toward your goals?
“You can throw in the towel, or you can us it to wipe the sweat off your face!” (Gatorade)
This metaphor was used in a Gatorade slogan in 2003. It seems to have a wide range of applications, from physical exercise to mental fitness, to goal orientation and endurance.
What does it mean to you? Where and when are you tempted to throw in a towel, and what happens when you persevere?
One area of such turmoil for me is going out into the world and approaching strangers, telling them about my services, so they have a chance to get to trust me as an ally on their self-development journey.
After I had written my previous two posts, a racoon attacked and killed one of our ducks: Dora, a little black female.
I was reminded that nature is neither good nor bad, nature just IS. The racoon needs to eat. The ducks don’t fight back. (And I failed to keep them safe, as our electric netting fence was not strong enough to keep the racoon out.)
We have been planning to get a dog in September. Too late for Dora, but hopefully the dog will deter any predators and keep our remaining ducks safe.
I am still sad about loosing that little bird. And I am contemplating what it means to be human, and to have the choice to be humane.
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What does it mean for you to be humane and in what situations do you see yourself be consciously humane?
For many people, animal communication is something that only the ‘gifted few’ can achieve. This of course is entirely untrue as we were all born with the ability to talk to and hear animals.
Holly Davis, Animal Communication With All Species
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Challenge: Communicate with the next animal you see. Then drop me a note! What have you learned?
How frequently do you interact with animals in your daily life? – Chances are that those interactions are scarce, or limited to pets. Our societies might have separated humans from animals, seeing humans as superior to animals. Yet, we admire certain qualities in specific animals. What can we learn from animals?
How about patience, living in the Now, connectedness with the intricate web of life we are part of, responsibility, attentive listening, living in tune with the natural world, und sticking together.
Can you guess which animals possess then traits listed above? – This can be a rewarding activity to do with your child! Also, you might want to observe animals around you to see which traits they display!
Do you associate wealth with money? I do struggle with the concept at times. Then I remind myself that I have enough. For me, it comes down to making the conscious decision to be happy in the Now. Because NOW is all we have. The past is a memory and the future is an imagination. Most of the time, I have all I NEED in the very moment I am in. It is often the WANTS that I want (!) to pursue.
To remain still and just be, let the moment be all I want – that is happiness for me. My wealth is my happiness, the feeling of being enough, and of having enough (or more than enough), right now.
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How about you? Where lies your wealth? And what are your thoughts about this week’s posts?
Once there was a wealthy father who was concerned that a privileged upbringing might give his son a limited view of life. He decided his son needed to see how the other half lived. To do this, he asked his personal assistant to find a very poor family who would be willing to allow him and his son to visit and stay with them.
After weeks of searching she found a very poor farming family who lived in an impoverished country area and organized for her boss and his son to live with them for a couple of days and nights. At the end of the visit, as they were driving back to their expensive suburban mansion, the father asked his son, “What did you think of our stay on the farm?”
“It was great, thanks, Dad,” came the reply.
Keen to see if he had achieved the mission of his visit, the father asked, “Has it helped you to see how poor people live?”
“Sure has,” answered his son.
“Well, tell me about it. What did you learn?” enquired the father.
“I learnt,” his son responded, “that while we have a swimming pool fenced into our backyard, they have a creek with swimming holes, a Tarzan rope hanging from a tree, and rapids they ride on old car tubes.”
“We have one dog that lives in a kennel. They have four that live with them.”
“Our large house stretches almost to the borders of our small piece of land. They have a small house on open fields that stretch beyond sight.”
“Our patio looks out on a neatly mown lawn whereas they view their garden, fields, trees, and hills to the very horizon.”
“Spotlights turn our yard into day at night. They have nothing but thousands of twinkling stars to light their night.”
“We have to drive to the supermarket to buy our vegetables but they grow theirs right outside the back door.”
“We have servants to serve our meals and clean our house. They serve each other and clean up together.”
“Our property has walls that fence others out and us in. Their fences contain milking cows and woolly lambs.”
“We have security alarms, barred windows, and locks to protect us while they have family and friends to protect them.”
The father looked at his son in absolute amazement.
“Thanks Dad,” the boy added. “I never realized how poor we are.”
(101 Stories for Enhancing Happiness and Well-Being Using Metaphors, p.208)
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Question: How does this metaphor compare to your perception of wealth?
Have you battled internal obstacles – problems that were entirely created by your way of approaching the world in your thinking and actions? – I have!
For more than a year I had been bothered by a digestive issue: There was a knot in my intestines, always in the same spot. It never went away. The intensity of the discomfort varied. I consulted my family doctor. I consulted an Ayurvedic doctor. Nothing. I researched online. – A partial breakthrough was achieved when I found a useful video how to alleviate the symptoms temporarily. But no solution appeared. I started to despair.
Then, we went on vacation and I did not drink my tap water. The discomfort was gone.
I had stumbled upon the solution. The problem – or obstacle – had been too close to me to be visible.
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Question: What is an obstacle you have come to live with, because you do not perceive there to be a way around or over it?
Flexibility is the key to common sense and success
A battleship had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. The captain, who was concerned about the deteriorating conditions, stayed on the bridge so that he could keep an eye on all activities. One night, shortly after dark, [the fog was getting even thicker] the lookout on the bridge suddenly shouted, ‘A light, captain, bearing on the starboard bow.’ ‘Is it steady or moving astern?’ the captain asked. The lookout confirmed that it was steady, which meant that the battleship was apparently on a dangerous collision course with the other ship. The captain then called to the signalman, ‘Signal that ship: “We are on a collision course. Advise you change course 20 degrees north.”’ Back came the response from the other ship: ‘You change course 20 degrees south.’ Annoyed at the arrogance of the response, the captain said, ‘Send: “I am a captain, change course 20 degrees north.”’ ‘I am a seaman second class,’ came the reply, ‘you had still better change course 20 degrees south.’ By this time, the captain was furious. He shouted, ‘Send: “I am a battleship. Change course 20 degrees north.”’ Back came the flashing light: ‘I am a lighthouse.’ The captain changed course. (Tales for Coaching, 133)
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Questions:
What cannot be moved? What CAN be moved? – Answer (?)
What represents the ‘fog’ for you? How could you lift this fog? – Answer (?)
Do you remember the story “The Star Thrower” who was rescuing starfish one at a time, and even it did not seem to make a difference in the big picture, it made every difference to the starfish he did rescue. Here is how this story resonates with my life:
I believe in minimizing my footprint and taking care of nature. I own a little piece of land – 4 acres – and I feel that I am the steward of this land. I am responsible for, but I am not entitled to do any damage to this land. I have the right to live here, to grow my plants, to live in my house, to be who I am.
I see this stewardship as our calling as humans. We have the power to destroy, but we also have to power to manage what we were entrusted with responsibly and sustainably. It may – and it does – feel daunting at times to do my little part in taking care of the world.
What I do includes: growing my own garden, buying organic food, buying what’s locally in season, buying fewer things that are packed in plastic, and more that are not packed, or packed in paper, consuming less, buying second hand, passing on things I no longer need to someone else who can use them, seeking happiness where I am and not where a car or a plane can take me.
It might feel hypocritical at times, when I do drive my car, or when I do buy things that are disposable or wrapped in plastic (or both). Then I try to forgive myself – because as the little boy said “It makes a difference to this one”.
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Question: What are your thoughts about this topic?
If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. – Wayne Dyer
In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. – Max De Pree
Do you remember the metaphor about the two caterpillars looking at a butterfly I shared a few days ago? – It can be found at: https://creeksideinspirations.ca/two-caterpillars/
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Question: What change are you resisting and what might become obvious if you change your perspective?
Two caterpillars were sitting on a cabbage leaf having a chat. Suddenly, they heard a loud swishing noise, and looking up, saw a beautiful butterfly flying overhead. The first caterpillar looked to the other, shook his head and said, ‘You’ll never get me up in one of those things.’
(by Scott Simmerman)
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Frage: What represents the butterfly (or change) for you?
Positive Intelligence® is an operating system with many applications. In the first six weeks you develop your 3 core mental muscles. In subsequent weeks, modules in the app then enable you to use those muscles for a variety of work and life applications. You continue to grow.
As a professional coach expanding into Mental Fitness Coaching I am authorized to offer special deals on the Positive Intelligence® Mental Fitness Program. Please contact me for details!
“It is easier to live through someone else than to complete yourself. The freedom to lead and plan your own life is frightening if you have never faced it before. It is frightening when a woman [editorial comment: …or man] finally realizes that there is no answer to the question ‘who am I’ except the voice inside herself.” ― Betty Friedan
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What makes you unique? What does the voice inside tell you?