Reichtum besteht nicht darin, große Besitztümer zu haben, sondern darin, wenig Bedürfnisse zu haben.
Epictetus
Frage: Wie fühlt es sich an, wenige Bedürfnisse zu haben?
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Manuela Zeitlhofer | Authentizitäts- & Mentale Fitness Coach
(Foto “Ganz in Natur versunken”, Manuela Zeitlhofer, 2013)
Once there was a wealthy father who was concerned that a privileged upbringing might give his son a limited view of life. He decided his son needed to see how the other half lived. To do this, he asked his personal assistant to find a very poor family who would be willing to allow him and his son to visit and stay with them.
After weeks of searching she found a very poor farming family who lived in an impoverished country area and organized for her boss and his son to live with them for a couple of days and nights. At the end of the visit, as they were driving back to their expensive suburban mansion, the father asked his son, “What did you think of our stay on the farm?”
“It was great, thanks, Dad,” came the reply.
Keen to see if he had achieved the mission of his visit, the father asked, “Has it helped you to see how poor people live?”
“Sure has,” answered his son.
“Well, tell me about it. What did you learn?” enquired the father.
“I learnt,” his son responded, “that while we have a swimming pool fenced into our backyard, they have a creek with swimming holes, a Tarzan rope hanging from a tree, and rapids they ride on old car tubes.”
“We have one dog that lives in a kennel. They have four that live with them.”
“Our large house stretches almost to the borders of our small piece of land. They have a small house on open fields that stretch beyond sight.”
“Our patio looks out on a neatly mown lawn whereas they view their garden, fields, trees, and hills to the very horizon.”
“Spotlights turn our yard into day at night. They have nothing but thousands of twinkling stars to light their night.”
“We have to drive to the supermarket to buy our vegetables but they grow theirs right outside the back door.”
“We have servants to serve our meals and clean our house. They serve each other and clean up together.”
“Our property has walls that fence others out and us in. Their fences contain milking cows and woolly lambs.”
“We have security alarms, barred windows, and locks to protect us while they have family and friends to protect them.”
The father looked at his son in absolute amazement.
“Thanks Dad,” the boy added. “I never realized how poor we are.”
(101 Stories for Enhancing Happiness and Well-Being Using Metaphors, p.208)
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Question: How does this metaphor compare to your perception of wealth?
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Manuela Zeitlhofer | Authentizitäts- & Mentale Fitness Coach
(photo by Guilherme Stecanella, Unsplash)
Have you battled internal obstacles – problems that were entirely created by your way of approaching the world in your thinking and actions? – I have!
For more than a year I had been bothered by a digestive issue: There was a knot in my intestines, always in the same spot. It never went away. The intensity of the discomfort varied. I consulted my family doctor. I consulted an Ayurvedic doctor. Nothing. I researched online. – A partial breakthrough was achieved when I found a useful video how to alleviate the symptoms temporarily. But no solution appeared. I started to despair.
Then, we went on vacation and I did not drink my tap water. The discomfort was gone.
I had stumbled upon the solution. The problem – or obstacle – had been too close to me to be visible.
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Question: What is an obstacle you have come to live with, because you do not perceive there to be a way around or over it?
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Manuela Zeitlhofer | Authentizitäts- & Mentale Fitness Coach
If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t you will see obstacles.
– Wayne Dyer
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Question: What might be hidden behind the obstacles you see?
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Manuela Zeitlhofer | Authentizitäts- & Mentale Fitness Coach
Flexibility is the key to common sense and success
A battleship had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. The captain, who was concerned about the deteriorating conditions, stayed on the bridge so that he could keep an eye on all activities. One night, shortly after dark, [the fog was getting even thicker] the lookout on the bridge suddenly shouted, ‘A light, captain, bearing on the starboard bow.’
‘Is it steady or moving astern?’ the captain asked.
The lookout confirmed that it was steady, which meant that the battleship was apparently on a dangerous collision course with the other ship.
The captain then called to the signalman, ‘Signal that ship: “We are on a collision course. Advise you change course 20 degrees north.”’
Back came the response from the other ship: ‘You change course 20 degrees south.’
Annoyed at the arrogance of the response, the captain said, ‘Send: “I am a captain, change course 20 degrees north.”’
‘I am a seaman second class,’ came the reply, ‘you had still better change course 20 degrees south.’
By this time, the captain was furious. He shouted, ‘Send: “I am a battleship. Change course 20 degrees north.”’
Back came the flashing light: ‘I am a lighthouse.’
The captain changed course. (Tales for Coaching, 133)
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Questions:
What cannot be moved? What CAN be moved? – Answer (?)
What represents the ‘fog’ for you? How could you lift this fog? – Answer (?)
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Manuela Zeitlhofer | Authentizitäts- & Mentale Fitness Coach
If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. – Wayne Dyer
In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. – Max De Pree
Do you remember the metaphor about the two caterpillars looking at a butterfly I shared a few days ago? – It can be found at: https://creeksideinspirations.ca/two-caterpillars/
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Question: What change are you resisting and what might become obvious if you change your perspective?
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Manuela Zeitlhofer | Authenticity & Mental Fitness Coach
Failure is a natural part of the creative process!
Thomas Edison, the American inventor, is thought of as being one of the most creative and intelligent men in history – and yet, the history books tell us that he attended his school in Michigan for only three months before being expelled at the age of 12 because his teachers thought he was ‘educationally subnormal’. In later years, Edison was to become famous for his saying ‘genius is 1 per cent inspiration and 99 per cent perspiration’.
This was certainly true for him in his attempts to convert electricity into light, one of his most famous endeavours. He was reputed to have tried and failed over 1,000 times to perfect the incandescent electric light bulb, and when advised by his colleagues and friends to give up the whole project because it was doomed to failure, replied with total conviction and some surprise: ‘Why, I haven’t failed; I’ve just found a thousand ways in which my formula doesn’t work!’
It was as much Edison’s positive and tenacious attitude to endeavour and problem solving as his obvious intelligence and creativity that, in the end, were his most powerful allies.
(Source: Tales for Coaching, p.109)
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Moral: There is no failure – only feedback!
Questions:
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Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness Coach
“The final freedom is choosing to live who you are –
especially when it’s scary, uncertain, inconvenient, or unpopular.”
Kim George
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What would you do differently if you lived every day without fear of the outcome?
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Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness Coach
Do you see your mission and your goals clearly? And how do you feel about small steps – do you give yourself credit for them, do you celebrate your small accomplishments?
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Story: A man was walking along the beach when he noticed a young boy apparently picking something off the ground and throwing it out into the sea. As the man got closer to the boy he saw that the objects were starfish. And the boy was surrounded by them. For miles and miles all along the shore, there seemed to be millions of them.
„Why in the world are you throwing starfish into the water”, he asked the boy as he approached.
„If these starfish are on the beach tomorrow morning when the tide goes out they will die”, replied the boy, continuing with his work.
„But that’s ridiculous”, cried the man. „Look around you. There are thousands of miles of beach and millions of starfish. How can you believe that what you’re doing could possibly make a difference”? The young boy picked up another starfish, paused thoughtfully, and remarked as he tossed it out into the waves, „It makes a difference to this one”. (by Loren Eisley)
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Moral: What is never attempted will never be accomplished; even the smallest of efforts defeats apathy.
Frage: Who or what are the ‘starfish’ that you want to save?
Manuela Zeitlhofer | Mental Fitness Coach
So often, people feel that they are not in charge of their own lives, that their lives are determined by circumstance, duties and habits.
Victor Frankl is said to have shared a thought-provoking perspective:
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor E. Frankl
What are your thoughts on that? Please drop me a note.
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New and super relevant: I have expanded into Mental Fitness coaching to support lasting change in my clients’ lives.
#mentalfitness #personalfreedom #mindfulness #coachmanuelazeitlhofer
Im Grunde ist es so, dass wir Dingen und Ereignissen Bedeutung zuschreiben. Manchmal verweilen wir bei den negativen Aspekten oder Implikationen von etwas, das wirklich zumindest eine andere Seite hat.
Im Coaching wenden wir dieses Prinzip an und nennen es Reframing: Wir fordern unsere Klienten dazu auf, eine andere Perspektive zu finden, oder etwas in einem neuen Licht zu sehen.
Heute habe ich das mit unserer Schottergrube gemacht: Ein Teil unseres Grundstücks besteht aus einer ehemaligen Kiesgrube, der in seinem humuslosen Zustand belassen wurde. Es wachsen hier seit 25 Jahren nur ein paar zähe Gräser, Weiden und noch zähere Kiefern und Zedern (die aussehen wie Bonsais). Im Sommer macht das mein Gärtnerherz traurig. Jetzt, mit ein wenig Schnee, eignen sich die Steilböschungen hervorragend zum Schlittenfahren. Und ich denke darüber nach, welche anderen Dinge in meinem Leben eines neuen Denk-Rahmens bedürfen.
Und du? Was könntest du jetzt neu formulieren? – Bitte lass mich wissen was du denkst!
Ich habe meinen Briefkasten neu gestrichen. Es sieht aus wie neu, aber die Fahne ist noch nicht richtig montiert (lange Geschichte). Als ich ihn heute untersuchte und überlegte, wie ich das Problem lösen könnte, bemerkte ich schöne Eiskristalle auf der Nordseite des Briefkastens. Die Südseite dampfte im Sonnenlicht.
Ich dachte daran, dass alles zwei Seiten hat. Buchstäblich und metaphorisch gesprochen.
Wenn wir akzeptieren, dass unsere Perspektive nur subjektiv sein kann und dass jede Situation andere Aspekte hat, dann müssen wir akzeptieren, dass wir vielleicht nicht immer auf der Sonnenseite der Realität sitzen. Und wenn das der Fall ist, könnten wir daraus schließen, dass es tatsächlich eine sonnigere Seite der Dinge gibt.
Was denken Sie über dieses Konzept?
Übrigens kann ich Ihnen als Life Coach dabei helfen, diese anderen Perspektiven zu finden. Und ich akzeptiere neue Kunden!
Ich denke an meine österreichischen Landsleute. Mein Geburtsland scheint gespalten und Propaganda scheint den Keil noch tiefer zu treiben.
Wenn ich an unsere kollektive Geschichte denke, mache ich mir Sorgen, wohin dies (wieder) führen könnte. Was kommt nach der Teilung? Trennung? Einen Sündenbock finden? Dann was?
Ich denke immer wieder über dieses Dilemma nach. Und ich will verstehen. Lassen Sie mich ein paar Fragen stellen.
Die Situation, wie sie sich mir in den Geschichten darstellt, die ich von Menschen höre und lese, die ich kenne:
Die Regierung nimmt uns einige unserer Freiheiten, und wir fühlen uns eingeschränkt. Einige von uns kämpfen, indem sie hartnäckig sind oder sich beschweren. Andere sind eher nach innen gerichtet unglücklich. Einige mögen an konstruktivem politischem Aktivismus beteiligt sein; andere vertrauen darauf, dass die Staats- und Regierungschefs unserer Länder ihr Bestes geben.
Derzeit werden uns einige der Freiheiten genommen, an die wir uns gewohnt haben, wie die Freiheit zu reisen, die Freiheit, Freunde zu treffen, die Freiheit, einen Schaufensterbummel zu machen oder ein gutes Essen in einem Restaurant zu genießen.
Ich stelle folgendes zur Debatte:
Unsere Freiheit ist niemals absolut. Es gibt immer einige Einschränkungen für unsere tatsächlichen Entscheidungen.
Freiheit wird dann zur Wahl. Wir können uns ganz unabhängig von den Umständen dafür entscheiden, glücklich zu sein. Wir können glücklich sein, dass wir leben, zufrieden sein, spazieren gehen zu können, die Sonne, den Wind und die Sterne lieben. Wir können unsere emotionale Reaktion wählen, wenn wir hören, dass Menschen Negativität verbreiten, wir können sogar den Fernseher ausschalten oder uns von diesen Menschen abwenden.
Wir können wählen, auf welche Gefühle wir reagieren: Liebe oder Hass, Zufriedenheit oder Unruhe….
Vorschlag:
Geben Sie immer Ihr Bestes, aus einer Position der Liebe und Rücksichtnahme. Lass Sie alles andere los und seien sie glücklich, in diesem Moment.
Schreiben Sie mir bitte Ihren Gedanken. Danke!
„Wenn sich keine Türen öffnen, baue eine neue Tür.“
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(anonym)
Welche Tür möchten Sie heute bauen?
Sometimes I wonder about the scope of our awareness. My ego does not agree, but my intuition tells me that there is more than I can perceive. Nature taught me a valuable lesson about that:
I have been baffled many times by the perseverance of ants, walking back and forth on their established routes, carrying up to twenty (!) times their body weight. I kept thinking about their world view: What do they see? What do they perceive the world to be? And where does the world as they know it end? While I am aware that the average ant might not be thinking those thoughts, I inferred that their world view is probably more limited than ours. Yet, they might confidently state: “This is how the world is!”
We do the same. We postulate that there is an objective reality and that we know what it is (or strive to find it). I postulate that – even if an objective reality exists – we might not be able to perceive it. So what are we left to do?
How about living in the moment?
I would love to read your thoughts!
